top ten overrated actors/actresses
1. Al pacino (all he does is scream. my dog's bark in my ear waking me up is more endearing)
2. marlon brando (he talks like he's got something in his mouth)
3. robert de niro (he's ALWAYS de niro)
4. demi moore
5. kevin costner
6. tom fucking hanks
7. denzel washington
8. halley berry
9. kathy bates
10. winona ryder
top ten actors/actresses that suck out loud and should be waiting tables and serving me coffee
1. sarah polley (that skank from dawn of the dead)
2. patrick stewart (Fuck captain picard, bald-headed prick!)
3. any baldwin
4. madonna (Did i even have to post this?? she looks like skeletor from he-man)
5. david caruso (he vogues with his sunglasses. stupid ginger freak, palest man in miami)
6. keanu reeves (dude)
7. tom cruise (he can act okay, but scientology? really?
8. hillary skank, i mean swank
9. camilla belle
10. emily procter (wow, another csi miami actor!)
top ten things to avoid saying while holding a newborn
1. my god, it looks like me!
2. yum
3. i recently had swine flu
4. i was your mommy's first
5. it puts the lotion in the basket (had to)
6. let me tell you all about how to sew fake nikes
7. i think i ran over one of these once with my buick
8. team jacob gets this one
9. wanna go for a hike in west memphis? (too soon??)
10. eew, you came out the hole i go in?
top ten things i like to do while you sleep
1. watch you sleep in nightvision green
2. rid the town of evil
3. rearrange your kitchen cabinets
4. burn a bag of dogshit on your porch and ring your doorbell
5. snore
6. stalk scarlett johannson
7. pick my scabs and make my dog eat it
8. copy your credit card information and sell it to a russian mob guy
9. worry about david letterman's fatwa
10. ignore you because my shit is WAY more important
top ten reasons why i am tired all the time
1. i am actually batman
2. i am frequently abducted by aliens
3. i'm fat, i smoke, and i don't exercise
4. i am on medication to keep me from going bug-fuck crazy and kill you all
5. i HATE sunlight
6. i write stupid blog posts instead of sleeping
7. just make something up
8. i stalk scarlett johannson
9. i make home-made gun silencers. email me if u want one
10. my dogs sleep in bed w me and they fart and kick me constantly
1. Al pacino (all he does is scream. my dog's bark in my ear waking me up is more endearing)
2. marlon brando (he talks like he's got something in his mouth)
3. robert de niro (he's ALWAYS de niro)
4. demi moore
5. kevin costner
6. tom fucking hanks
7. denzel washington
8. halley berry
9. kathy bates
10. winona ryder
top ten actors/actresses that suck out loud and should be waiting tables and serving me coffee
1. sarah polley (that skank from dawn of the dead)
2. patrick stewart (Fuck captain picard, bald-headed prick!)
3. any baldwin
4. madonna (Did i even have to post this?? she looks like skeletor from he-man)
5. david caruso (he vogues with his sunglasses. stupid ginger freak, palest man in miami)
6. keanu reeves (dude)
7. tom cruise (he can act okay, but scientology? really?
8. hillary skank, i mean swank
9. camilla belle
10. emily procter (wow, another csi miami actor!)
top ten things to avoid saying while holding a newborn
1. my god, it looks like me!
2. yum
3. i recently had swine flu
4. i was your mommy's first
5. it puts the lotion in the basket (had to)
6. let me tell you all about how to sew fake nikes
7. i think i ran over one of these once with my buick
8. team jacob gets this one
9. wanna go for a hike in west memphis? (too soon??)
10. eew, you came out the hole i go in?
top ten things i like to do while you sleep
1. watch you sleep in nightvision green
2. rid the town of evil
3. rearrange your kitchen cabinets
4. burn a bag of dogshit on your porch and ring your doorbell
5. snore
6. stalk scarlett johannson
7. pick my scabs and make my dog eat it
8. copy your credit card information and sell it to a russian mob guy
9. worry about david letterman's fatwa
10. ignore you because my shit is WAY more important
top ten reasons why i am tired all the time
1. i am actually batman
2. i am frequently abducted by aliens
3. i'm fat, i smoke, and i don't exercise
4. i am on medication to keep me from going bug-fuck crazy and kill you all
5. i HATE sunlight
6. i write stupid blog posts instead of sleeping
7. just make something up
8. i stalk scarlett johannson
9. i make home-made gun silencers. email me if u want one
10. my dogs sleep in bed w me and they fart and kick me constantly
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